As a mother I struggle with guilt. A lot! I spend a lot of time thinking and rethinking about the decisions I’ve made as a mother. I just finished reading a book about Motherhood and guilt, and as humorous as it was there was a lot of truth in it. One of the exercises the author recommends is to make a list of things that you have done right, or that you don’t feel guilty about. I have decided that Friday’s will be my guilt free days! Today I will list 5 (and it was hard to come up with 5) things that I DON”T feel guilty about as a mom. So here goes!!
1. I DON”T feel guilty for feeding my babies formula! I did breastfeed all 4 for varying periods of time, but when necessary they got formula.
2. I DON”T feel guilty for co-sleeping with some of my kids and not others. Different kids, different needs, different circumstances.
3. I DON”T feel guilty for setting an expectation of behavior for my kids and then following through with natural consequences if they don’t meet that expectation.
4. I DON”T feel guilty for sometimes letting a child cuddle with me on the couch even though they were supposed to be in bed and they sneak downstairs for “water” or the “noise” that they heard.
5. I DON”T feel guilty for not doing everything for or “babying” my kids. Sometimes I wish I could baby them more, but with 4 kids it’s not always possible. Nothing is wrong with a child that can do things for themselves.
Whew, that was tough!!! Why should it be so hard to come up with things I’ve done as a mother that I don’t feel guilty about? My reason for forcing myself to begin to make statements of things I’ve done right as a mother is because I don’t think I am helping my kids by drowning in my own guilt. I want my kids to see that they are being raised by a confident mother who makes decisions and doesn’t second guess herself. Sure, I will and do make mistakes. But I want to teach my children to make good decisions and feel confident about those decisions. They have to learn that from me.
Come on Moms!! Comment with 5 things that you DON”T feel guilty about as a mother, or write your own blog post and put your link in my comments. I want to read about all the strong moms out there!
Wow….Heather you are so right!!! I could probably think of alot more than 5 “guilts”!! I just tell my kids to tell it to their shrink or Oprah!!! You are an amazing Mother!!!
You know I always told my kids to make their complaints Chapter (whatever) of their “Mommie Dearest” books–and to send me some of the proceeds.
i feel this way too! If I have a deadline and need to fisnih something up I have no problem working late. But I hate staying late just for the sake of not looking like the first to leave. Many of the people who “work” until 7-8pm are ones who don’t manage their time well during the day and then they make comments like “oh, working a half day?” if someone leaves on time. If you’re getting your work done it shouldn’t matter if you leave at 5pm or 10pm and if people have that much time to notice and comment, they can’t be THAT busy!
Totally agree with you! I have that same long commute and it’s more nsctseiey to leave on time. This past year, I’ve worked so much overtime (including tons of weekends). My goal this year was to actually have a life and leave on time and work less weekends. You have to enjoy some YOU time! Especially now that the weather is so nice!!
I carry the same guilt about leaving early. My guilt also carires over to ‘I should have arrived at work sooner’ and the ‘I dont have time for a vacation guilt.’ How does one get to the point where they feel comfortable leaving early, arriving on time, not working on the weekends or taking a vacation? I have yet to master that. Tips would be appreciated.